Julian Clary. Fistful of Clary @ New Theatre Peterborough

Julian Clary, renowned homosexual and national trinket, is fixing to saddle up and head on out for his 2025 UK tour.

“Yes, it has a Western theme,” the old buckaroo confirms, sipping Bourbon from a pint tankard. “It was only a matter of time before I eased myself into some chaps” he adds, dabbing his temples with a damp flannel.

Julian is sure that the men in the audience will be so eager to join his posse they won’t be able to keep their hands off his Rawhide. The lucky few will play with him on stage in the Hang ‘em Low saloon, where Wild Bill Hickok used to meet his special friend, Raving Clarence la Fruit. But life in the Old West was tough. Not all of Julian’s wild bunch will be around to witness the final shoot-out that will result in Julian giving himself selflessly at high noon to the last man standing. Who knows what else he’ll do for a few dollars more?

“A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do…” drawls Julian cryptically before becoming engrossed in his embroidery.